Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
