Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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