shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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