Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Randomize
