I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
