Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
