she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
