I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
