TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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