Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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