kristin has been a bad kristin
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
