I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
