but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
