I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize