dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
