ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
