i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
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