i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
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