Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
