so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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