Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
