New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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