I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
