The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.