Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
