Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located