gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.