Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
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I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
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You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.