it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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