what if every blade of grass was a penis?
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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