its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Randomize
