My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
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If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
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Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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