i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
