Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
