i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Sext me about skeletons
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
