Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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