Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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