I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
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