Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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