Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
