I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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