Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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