I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
