I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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