What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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