Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
