mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
just come out here and I will go home with you...
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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