So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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