one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
How many fucks given?
0.12846
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