she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
porn star boner night. come get it.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
