I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
did i walk over a car last night?
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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