Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
pop tarts are not kleenex
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
