Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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