Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
ugly people sure do ruin things
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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