my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize