It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize