She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
