He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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