$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
