If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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