I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize