He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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