Someone shit on the floor
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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