Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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