what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
we're making bets on your personal life
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
