Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
that may or may not have been my penis.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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