she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
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